Hitting the 3 Year Mark: No What Ifs

It's hard to believe that 3 years have come and gone, 3 years ago today I arrived in Santa Cruz. I didn't want to live with what ifs, I wanted to be stretched outside of my comfort zone and grow in my dependence on God so I came. The stretching and growing was more painful than I expected, but it has been worthwhile. I have learned a lot about myself, the good, the bad, and the ugly. I have learned a lot about God and come to a place where I can truly say He is good and He is faithful all the time. I have been surrounded by so many great examples of faith in my church, ministry, and mission community. As this chapter comes to a close it is not without sadness, I've spent these last few months mourning the goodbyes that are to come. However, there are no regrets, I see the purpose God had for me in every season here and I will never have to say what if. God is teaching me now as I prepare for this next leap of faith that trusting Him and understanding Him are not necessarily the same thing. His ways are not my ways and His plans are not my plans, they are better and higher. So I will trust Him to lead me and guide me, to help me live with no what ifs.

Isaiah 55:8-9 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."

Psalm 33:11 "But the plans of the Lord stand firm forever, the purposes of his heart through all generations."

The one less traveled by....

"I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference."
-Robert Frost (for full poem: http://www.bartleby.com/119/1.html)

I came to a fork in the road in October of 2009 at which point I knew if I did not pursue missions then I never would and I took a leap of faith to pursue SIM and the possibility of serving with El Alfarero in Santa Cruz. It would be a lie if I said I've never looked back, I've often questioned my sanity, as friends back home got engaged, married, started families, I often thought I had missed the boat. Just to clarify I don't view marriage as more important than missions or missions as more important than marriage, I simply had a call to missions and to not have followed it would have been me rebelling against God. I can truly say now that God blesses our obedience, maybe I'm not married or a mom, but God has blessed me with such a huge family in the faith not even just limited to Bolivia. I have a Brazilian niece, I will soon have an Australian/American niece, and I have lots of Bolivian nieces and nephews. For an only child I've gained so many brothers and sisters in the faith. My recent travels with other short-term girls both from my mission and other missions has made me reflect a lot, on the choice I made to come to Bolivia as a single missionary. I never expected to be the veteran and yet God has brought younger short-term girls across my path whose lives I can speak into because of all I have lived through in these past two and a half years. Hindsight is always 20/20 and I love to look back and see how God connects the dots. I never expected to have a ministry among other short-term girls and yet that call has been very clear on my life since I returned to Santa Cruz in January. I don't know what the future holds but I'm glad I chose this road, it's had plenty of bumps along the way, but it has been worthwhile and God has been faithful in every step along the way.

Carnaval...

This is my 3rd Carnaval in Santa Cruz, the closest comparision I can give would be of Mardi Gras in New Orleans in the States. It's a celebration that leads up to Ash Wednesday, where in the days prior people live as if there are no consequences. It's a drunk fest here with parades, dancing, music, and people throw paint, water, and foam at eachother. The church abandons the city and there are church camps on the outskirts of town. In previous years, I've had my own personal retreat and steered clear of the action. This year my church, because of it's location downtown we had church Saturday night instead of Sunday morning. As I arrived to the church I passed a lot of the preparations and God brought to mind Jesus' words on the cross "Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do." During the sermon that night our pastor asked us what our response should be to Carnaval. A friend said prayer, and my pastor gave us the example of God asking Ezekiel if He could find one man willing to stand in the gap for Israel and intercede on their behalf He would hold back His judgement. We had the opportunity to pray in pairs and stand in the gap for our family members who don't know Christ. Last night, I went to a friend´s house to hang out with friends from church. We ended up needing to go to church to pick up the projector to watch a movie. As we drove down the street our church is on we were surrounded by people covered in blood, sweat, tears, and paint. There were people passed out on the sidewalk, people throwing up, people peeing on their own vehicles, people crying, people fighting. It broke my heart. After a difficult week, where I questioned to some extent my call, I am reminded I have been called to stand in the gap. The youth of Santa Cruz are set to self destruct; the majority of people I saw last night were high school and college age kids. This is the target group for El Alfarero. Pray for us as we prepare to open our doors in the aftermath of Carnaval. We will face cases of rape, crisis pregnancy, abortion, STDS, HIV. Pray that the tide will begin to turn here in the city of Santa Cruz, God is calling the youth here to a hope and a future.